An Interview With Resistance

My interview with resistance: a technique you can use to uncover what's really going on for you...

I've been experiencing an unhelpful amount of resistance of late and it's been getting in my way. So I thought I'd find out why

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Me: Hello, Resistance

Resistance: Hello. Why are you talking to me?

Me: Because I want to understand why we're so reluctant to do so many of the things we're meant to be doing, and why we're feeling so anxious about them.

Resistance: Which things do you mean?

Me: You know perfectly well which things I mean, stop trying to avoid the issue.

Resistance: What do you expect me to do OTHER than avoid the issue? That's what I do, I RESIST! The clue's in the name

Me: OK, I do understand what you do, and what I'm trying to understand now is WHY you're doing it. I know it's going to be stressful for you but we really can't carry on like this you know.

Resistance: Why not?

Me: Because the longer this goes on, the longer the list of things we avoid and resist gets, and then everything falls apart, doesn't it.

Resistance: Spose so.

Me: And because the more energy we put into Not Thinking About Things the less energy we have to spend on achieving things..

Resistance: Spose so.

Me: And because the more we know that we're avoiding thinking about and doing things, the more anxious we get and the worse we feel.

Resistance: Spose so.

Me: Is that all you've got to say?

Resistance: Spose

Me: Oi!

Resistance: Oh all right. But this whole thing is making me very uncomfortable you know. I wish you'd just go away and leave me alone.

Me: Sorry, can't do that. I've left you to your own devices for too long as it is. Now, tell me, what is it about all of these things that makes you so resistant to doing them?

Resistance: Well.some of them are things we should have done ages ago and didn't. And now you feel guilty every time you think about doing them, so I figured that, if you didn't think about them, you wouldn't have to feel guilty, so I've been trying to get you not to think about them. And if you didn't insist on keeping putting them on your blasted lists of things to do my cunning plan would have worked a whole lot better.

Me: OK, I understand that. You said "some of them", so what about the other things?

Resistance: Some of them are things you didn't know how to do, and you know how you get sometimes when you don't know what to do, so you've just kept putting them off

Me: Yes, well, that's going to stop right now

Resistance: The rest is things you've added to the list of things that need to be done but because they're on the same list as the things you feel guilty about, I'm having to try to stop you from doing any of that list, because once you look at it you'll see all the guilty-making things and then you'll feel guilty.

Me: in fact, by protecting me from the list of things that we feel guilty about, you've actually made that list of things longer, because now there are even more things on it to feel guilty about?

Resistance: Er yes, that's about right. I can see I'm going to have to stop you from taking any notice of this conversation now. Fancy a cup of tea?

Me: Good try, but it's not going to work. Tell me, why did we not do the things on that original list?

Resistance: Well we meant to, but you know how we get when we're stressed things fall through the cracks and sometimes we sabotage ourselves by actively choosing not to do stuff that would actually be really helpful.

Me: Yes, I recognise that. And then when we're really stressed, we turn into a frightened little girl who's afraid of getting told off for not having done as she's told, don't we?

Resistance: Yes we do, so we try to pretend that we didn't know we we're supposed to do it, and hope that it will all go away!

Me: Yes but it never does, does it?

Resistance: Sadly, no.

Me: And we're really not a frightened little girl any more, are we?

Resistance: No, not really. That's a hangover from who we used to be. I just forget sometimes and I end up resisting the wrong things. I guess really I ought to be resisting that idea, and others like it, instead of resisting doing the stuff that's going to be actively helpful to you.

Me: Could you do that? I'd LOVE it if you could concentrate from now on on resisting all my unhelpful instincts!!

Resistance: Of COURSE I can do that! Thanks for asking

Me: If it's OK with you, I think I'd better pay that water bill now, don't you?

Resistance: Yes, I think you had. There are a few other things here you might want to take a look at too. I must say, I feel much better now that we've had that little chat. I can't believe you've left it so long!!

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Posted in Personal Development Post Date 12/08/2018






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